lovingmary22

Plot Twist

My dad turns 72 today, and I’ve been thinking a lot about this journey and this blog and all the beautiful, brutal experiences of the past year or two. Writing still is a powerful tool for processing, and today I have all the feelings. My last journal entry, Frequent Flyer, seems funny to me now.Continue reading “Plot Twist”

Frequent Flyer

I’ve taken quite a break from the written form of processing my thougths and feelings. It was ok – it’s been a great year for so many different reasons. Also a hard one, of course. Writing continues to help me navigate my thoughts, so I decided to jump back in. This morning at 6am IContinue reading “Frequent Flyer”

Denial: Our Happy Place

Growing up in a home with parents that struggled with addiction was a really, really confusing place. I was in high school before I could name the ‘thing’ that was our secret. I knew we had a secret, and I knew it must be really bad because mom and dad wouldn’t talk about it. IContinue reading “Denial: Our Happy Place”

It’s Been a Minute.

For a while I found quite a bit of contentment getting my messy thoughts ‘out’ in a place I could revisit and review. Life in a pandemic era is beyond insane and I’ve found myself a bit over extended these days. I don’t really like the notion of ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ but I have privatelyContinue reading “It’s Been a Minute.”

Substance Abuse and Faith.

Faith is not the same as religion and the church. Faith can be pure, while religion is a man-made device that, by default, will always fall short of true godliness. That’s ok, as long as there is an understanding that faith and religion are not the same. I think many of those who tend toContinue reading “Substance Abuse and Faith.”

Enabling vs. Helping

In my adult life, I’ve learned a weakness of mine is setting appropriate boundaries and recognizing when I am enabling. I’m a million times better today than I was before I started my own family – but old habits die hard and I really have to evaluate my responses and check in with myself whenContinue reading “Enabling vs. Helping”

And Dad, too.

I don’t remember a time where I knew that mom was alcoholic and my dad wasn’t one too. My dad drank openly, unabashedly. He would drink at work and on his way home. He hid nothing, and thought of himself as better for it. He was a kind drunk – to us, anyway – butContinue reading “And Dad, too.”

My Enneagram and Mom

At this point in my posts, it may not come as a surprise to you that I identify with a ONE on the Enneagram. More specifically, I am a type One with 9 Wing – The Idealist. Not to go down this rabbit hole too much – but on the website for Your Enneagram Coach,Continue reading “My Enneagram and Mom”

“Live Life with No Regrets”

Ugh, this cliché. The worst. Why does this trigger me so much? Seriously though – who can live until their mid 30’s and never having done anything they regret? If you knowingly did something wrong that caused hurt and pain – you SHOULD REGRET IT. Casually slinging around ‘Live life with no regrets!’ feels dishonestContinue reading ““Live Life with No Regrets””

The Eye

The past year or so, I’ve been finding a lot of joy and validation in listening to Brandi Carlile. Everything from parenting (The Mother) to loving someone with an addiction, which is how I interpreted The Eye. I don’t just listen to her music – I feel it in my soul. Damn. This woman knows.Continue reading “The Eye”